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Page 30.

The Top 50 greatest ever jokes by Tommy cooper.



35. 'I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said, "Those are pickled onions". '


34. There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.


33. I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.


32. 'Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here" '


31. 'So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck". '




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