What do you do after having a baby?

Put its nappy back on.


Why do you feed a baby into a blender feet first?

So you can come on its face.


Which king had the most children?

Jonathan.

What’s the worst thing about s** with a5-year-old?

Getting the blood out of the clown costume afterwards.


What’s the best thing about s** with a 5-year-old?

Getting to kick them to death in the woods afterwards.


What’s green, hard and full of semen?

– (insert any young child who has recently been abducted here)


What’s the best thing about f****** a 6-year-old girl?

You can flip her over and pretend she’s a 6-year-old boy.


What’s the best thing about f****** a 6-year-old boy?

You don’t have to pretend!





































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