Brilliant free joke about god

While God is distracted Eve persuades Adam to eat the forbidden fruit. He does so, they both realise they are naked and f** each other madly all day long. Later, God comes back from what he was doing, realises what has happened and takes Adam aside for a talking-to. At the end he asks Adam where Eve is.
“Oh, she’s in the sea washing herself off,” replies Adam.
“Crap!”, says God. “How am I ever going to get the smell out of the fish?”

Free nasty adult joke

A man enters a pharmacy and asks for birth control pills for his wife and his seven year-old daughter. The pharmacist is a little shocked and says, “Your seven year-old daughter is sexually active!”
“No,” replies the man. “She just sort of lays there.”

Free rape joke

What’s the difference between forced s*x and a smear tests?
Women don’t like smear tests.

Free adult joke

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?

A man.

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